Don’t Stop Doing These Things If You’re Over 40
I’ve seen several lists telling women over 40 that they should stop doing or wearing certain things (like wearing torn jeans, REALLY?? We invented that shit in the 80’s!) . Amazingly enough, the authors of these lists are all UNDER 40 millennial moms. They fail to understand that for most of us, our 40s are when we finally reach the point in life that we stop giving a crap what others think we should or shouldn’t be doing. We’ve earned the right to live life however we see fit, and no opinion of a self-proclaimed young social media influencer is going to “influence” us otherwise. So here’s my list of things you SHOULDN’T stop doing if you’re over 40.
Listening to the music you grew up with.
For me, that was mostly hard rock and heavy metal. I LOVE the funny looks I got from all of the millennial soccer-mom types when I pulled up to my son’s middle school blasting Slayer and Iron Maiden!
I’ve had coworkers tell me, “oh, I used to listen to them in high school, but then I had to grow up.” I’m sure this was a passive aggressive insult.
But guess what?
You don’t have to stop doing things that make you feel young and alive just because some stiffs in society think that part of being “responsible and mature” is to never let loose.
Cheers to those of us who have figured out how to be a responsible adult and parent, and can still go back and relive our crazy, fun times through music. You shouldn’t stop doing this if you’re over 40.
Wearing your hair long.
I see so many women over 40 just chop their beautiful hair completely off because someone said it makes you look “old” to have long hair. Why is that? Mine is thinning quite a bit, but my son and fiancé have threatened to disown me if I chop my hair off. So I just cut enough to bring a little bounce back to it. Some women think it makes them look older to have straight long hair, but there are many styles that can make your face look fuller without taking drastic measures.
Granted, this doesn’t mean wearing tight short dresses, or having your butt cheeks peeking out of your shorts. Dress sexy in ways that flatter your age and body type. I remember growing up wondering why my mom dressed in such old lady clothes when she was only in her 30s and 40s.
Even if you don’t have the perfect figure, you can still play up your features and dress in modern, flattering clothing. Plus it will make you feel more confident if you still look good.
Stiff joints and lower energy levels come with the territory of getting older. But you can slow down this process by staying active. Being over 40 shouldn’t come with the “I’m too old to do that” excuse.
I know women in their 50s who just started rock climbing! That’s a bit extreme, but the more active you are, the more you can delay the onset of age-related limitations.
Lifting weights is especially important for preserving muscle tone and balance as we age. It also helps prevent osteoporosis.
Believing in love.
By the time we reach 40, some of us have had a rough time in the love department. Many women, including myself, have had one or more failed marriages, been cheated on, abandoned, and lied to.
And no one would blame you if you couldn’t risk any more pain. But living alone isn’t so bad either.
However, if you WANT someone to love and who loves you back, but are avoiding it out of fear, then you have some work to do.
Fairy tale love doesn’t exist, but real, messy, passionate, exhilarating, comforting love DOES exist. I know, because I’ve experienced it. It isn’t all butterflies and roses, but we always come back from the hard stuff.
And you can find someone who believes in that kind of love, too! You just have to be willing to do some soul searching.
Making new friends.
Sometimes as we age we tend to lose touch with some friends due to life changes or just not making time for each other. Or maybe we’ve gotten too comfortable with staying home alone or within our tiny circle.
Whatever the reason, it’s never too late to start making new friends. It can open up a whole new world of fun things to do that you may have never thought of before.
Trying new adventures
Now that we are in our 40’s, many of us may be close to becoming or are already empty-nesters. My son has graduated high school this year, and for the first time in my life, I almost regret raising him to be SO independent.
If you have older kids, you might get this feeling too. However, we can either let this stage of life make us feel lonely and lost, or we can focus on the fact that maybe we did alright.
We raised decent humans that will be able to figure out how to navigate life successfully. And we will still be there for them when they fall down every now and then.
But, now we can focus on ourselves and dreams we have for this half of our life. Now is the time to do all of those things you didn’t have the courage, time, or funds to do when you were younger.
So look for new crazy (within reason) activities to try. Travel to interesting new places! Create new memories and focus on what YOU want for a change.
This goes for any area of life, but mostly for those who think it’s too late for a career change. I had been in IT for most of my adult life, and realized after changing companies several times, it was the job ITSELF that I had grown to hate.
That’s when I decided it was time for a drastic change. I quit a stable job with the police department to I started my own online business. I am determined to make it successful. It was a huge risk and involved some big sacrifices, but I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time.
You may not have the resources or support to start your own business, but you can still get training or go back to school for something you might enjoy doing. It won’t be easy, but is continuing down a path you hate any easier? Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
A lot of us tend to think we’ve seen it all, done it all, and there’s nothing left to do. But the truth is, we ALL have things about our personality or health we can work on.
The great Tony Robbins said, “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying.” So, as painful as it may be, identify areas of your life that you need to grow and do the work.
This doesn’t mean beat yourself up over your flaws, but simply recognize areas that would be beneficial to yourself and your relationships and work to improve them.
Finally, don’t stop doing what you love.
Whether it’s wearing certain clothing, listening to certain music, hairstyle, tattoos, whatever! I’ve seen so many articles about what women in their 40s should stop wearing, stop doing, stop thinking, ect.
And they are usually written by 20-somethings.
I got two words for those two words for them…. but I’ll refrain from using that kind of language here!
We all may have ideas and judgments on what people of a certain age should or shouldn’t do. I’m guilty of it myself. But bottom line is this, ladies—We are halfway through life, and we’ve probably spent the first half trying to gain acceptance and please other people. It’s our time now. Do whatever the HELL makes you feel confident, young, sexy, and happy!
The world is going to judge you no matter what, so don’t stop doing what makes you feel alive!
P.S. Another important thing you shouldn’t stop doing is taking care of your health! It’s more important than ever as we start getting to the age where health problems start showing up. Many can be managed or prevented by maintaining a healthy diet. Click Here to Get Your Free Food Journal